Vilify

Vilify

(c) Vash-chan

Summary: Snitched and villainised.  

Intuition never lies.  I knew something would happen from the first impression.  But I was stupid to stop it in time.  It took one little voice, one gesture...just a few words and then everything fell down piece by piece.  A snake's venomous bite had pushed me to my downfall.    

The slow burning venom had made me begin to lose my mind that it lead me to stumble my words and tumble into further pain and illness.  I spent hours trying to redeem behind the scenes, tolerating the superiority complexes and the gaslighting.  My strength eventually broke one day and I knew I would be gone sooner or later. Apologies were not accepted.  Too little, too late.  It was not enough.  Nobody accepted it.    

Even when I was given opportunities to speak my mind, I hesitated.  I knew they wouldn't listen.  I thought I would just try harder in the meantime.  That was when an ultimatum reached me later on.  I should have expected this outcome sooner or later but I could not help the shock over receiving something out of the blue.  I was unprepared for that attack.  

The world had stopped as I found the prickly words that flew to me before my send-off to a dungeon truly infuriated me.  Imagine putting this on a poster so everyone could see the dirty wording on the wall.  The indignity that would surface on me.  The shady nit-picking on every single action I made...I was being ripped apart.  Not even the smallest praise in between was enough to save the blows to my pride.   I wasn't good enough and mistakes were everywhere.  I was told to reflect and perhaps repent in silence on what I had done wrong, even though some of the errors were not mine to begin with.  

I had become a villain and my name was tarnished.  How fitting to be vilified in a setting almost close to a classic Hollywood film where my ethnicity would easily equal deceitful and cunning.  The stabbing in the back revealed double standards beneath this society.  I was just a number in the end.  

Within the ultimatum, I was offered a chance to say something if it helped.  My anger pushed me to give them a final speech to clear my name, seeing as I had become the enemy.  I had nothing to lose. When two thousands daggers came to me I threw an equal number right back at them.  I asked for further information on the harsh words.  Yet in return they dare not write the reasons for the criticism, saving it for a face to face conversation.

Gone were my tears from before.  Only resentment lurked within my mind as I defended myself calmly with a poker face.  Endless huffs and eye rolling was what I received in return.  Undoubtedly they did not see me coming and tried to turn the blame on me, saying this was for constructive aid.  That I was not appreciating their efforts to accommodate me and that my own words were not fair to them. 

In reality they wanted to humiliate me in front of my dejected spirit.  They already told me I was not good enough, threatened they would take action if I did not comply.  I said what I said so what was the point of this meeting? They still did not care.  Their true colours had emerged and they hated how I had called their flaws out in my attack.  They claim everybody here was treated equally but I could not see it whatsoever.  Not any more.  It was gone.     

They emphasised the ultimatum, demanding my choice between repenting and working harder remotely or leaving for good.  Deep down however I knew there was no turning back from this ridicule and that their kindness would not be genuine. The damage was done.  I was not even included in their future according to them and they dared to twist the situation by saying that was their initial thought before they received my response.    

My spirit may have been fading bit by bit but this fight was far from over and I wasn't going to give in to them that quickly.